Parenting: A Third Phase

Back in September, Sue and I entered into a third phase of our parental experience. The first phase, obviously, is when our children are totally dependent upon us to meet their needs. They live under our roof, and by our rules. As they get older they are able to make some decisions, but for the most part, we were responsible to make sure they are safe, healthy, and happy.

The second phase is when they are "out," but still around. You know what I mean; when they are out of high school, and legally responsible for themselves, but have not really severed that tie to the washing machine, couch, and refrigerator. Maybe they are in college, or have their own apartment. Let's be honest, as parents we grumble about this, but we really kind of like it - at least we still see them every so often and can have some input into their lives, even if it is just some food or the occasional few dollars we slip them for a little gas.

For us, the third phase was when we moved from Kentucky to Montana, and left our older two kids in the Bluegrass State. Rachel's wedding last week was an even stronger indicator of our curent location on the parenting chart. Saying good bye to my oldest boy, and my daughter and new son-in-law on Saturday left us in the frighteningly awkward position of...not knowing when we would see them again. This is new territory for us. You see, even though we lived 80 miles from Rachel, and 50 miles from Andrew, we always saw them during the holidays, and on various and sundry weekends when Andrew needed a home-cooked meal, and Rachel needed to do her laundry. That won't be happening now that we are 1900 miles away.

This new phase is going to be difficult. Thanksgiving and Christmas are going to be strange without them. But, we trust that God will get us all through it, and future times together will be that much more special because we understand in an even deeper way the value and blessing of family. And, we thank the Lord now even more for our little "late" gift - Josiah - at least we have a phase or two longer with him.