Sadness and Joy

We were grieved to lose yet another pet - and one we had just gotten to know.  Peewee, after only being with us for a week, had to be euthenized yesterday due to a serious illness .  He had been on an antibiotic and an anti-parasitic medicine due to issues we noticed when he "found us".  When we took him back in for a follow up, he not only hadn't gotten any better, he had gotten worse.  The Vet, based on his experience, felt that the outlook wasn't good for him and Sue and I didn't want to prolong any suffering so, once again we had to make the difficult choice.  We were pretty bummed.  So was Josiah.  But, these things are all learning times; times when we can talk with Josiah about the harsh realities of life, and the goodness of God in the midst of them. He cried.  We cried.  And we move forward.

The sadness of losing Peewee came after a sad weekend.  I was asked to lead a memorial service for a seven year old girl who unexpectedly passed away about two weeks ago.  There is nothing more heartbreaking than to see parents struggling through something like this.  Making it more difficult was the fact that I didn't know this family, and they live out of state so any kind of follow up will be a challenge.  Needless to say, after the trip to the Vet, I was kind of emotionally spent by last night.

But, this morning I myself was reminded of God's goodness and hope.  I was able to visit with a young couple from our church who just welcomed a new little boy into their lives.  "Myles" was born last night and was peacefully sleeping in his daddy's arms while we visited.  What an awesome and beautiful scene!  As I drove back to the church to get to work on all the stuff that I have going for this week and this weekend, there was a peace in my heart.  In the midst of all the sadness, there was still reason to rejoice.  A child was born!  Thank you, Lord, for Christmas, and THE CHILD - Jesus - that was born to bring us joy and hope.

A New Friend...

God's timing is rarely ours. We lost a special "friend" just before we moved to Montana - "Benny" (Josiah's beloved cat) was diagnosed with feline HIV and we had to make the difficult but humane decision that causes tears all the way around. It was too soon for us, because we'd only had him for about 18 months, and Josiah was really attached to him. He had rid our house of mice, and even brought us a fresh rabbit one afternoon (he was so proud!). He was patient with our little boy and allowed Josiah to pack him around and treat him like a house cat - a humiliation I'm sure to most proud tomcats. We told Josiah that when we found a home of our own in our new town, we'd find another cat for him. Since we arrived in September, Josiah has been patiently waiting. Well, that new home still hasn't materialized, but the Lord saw fit to bump up the arrival of a new "friend" for Josiah.

Sue and I were sitting in the house yesterday, when we saw a black and white kitten coming down the stairs from Grace's house to the ground level where our apartment is. Normally, when we open the door, the local "visitor" cats take off like the wind. This little guy did the opposite. He saw me, and came running. He raced past me and into the house, sniffed around, and promptly curled up on Sue's lap, purring like well tuned motor. He was pretty thin, and probably (due to the cold weather and snow) hadn't eaten in while. So, we gave him something to eat and drink, and the adoption process was complete. I guess we measured up so he decided to keep us. Needless to say, Josiah was pretty happy when he got home from school.

God's timing is not ours. But, all time is His, so we will just trust Him and enjoy what He brings. Say hello to our new friend, "PeaWee", the latest addition to our family.

Parenting: A Third Phase

Back in September, Sue and I entered into a third phase of our parental experience. The first phase, obviously, is when our children are totally dependent upon us to meet their needs. They live under our roof, and by our rules. As they get older they are able to make some decisions, but for the most part, we were responsible to make sure they are safe, healthy, and happy.

The second phase is when they are "out," but still around. You know what I mean; when they are out of high school, and legally responsible for themselves, but have not really severed that tie to the washing machine, couch, and refrigerator. Maybe they are in college, or have their own apartment. Let's be honest, as parents we grumble about this, but we really kind of like it - at least we still see them every so often and can have some input into their lives, even if it is just some food or the occasional few dollars we slip them for a little gas.

For us, the third phase was when we moved from Kentucky to Montana, and left our older two kids in the Bluegrass State. Rachel's wedding last week was an even stronger indicator of our curent location on the parenting chart. Saying good bye to my oldest boy, and my daughter and new son-in-law on Saturday left us in the frighteningly awkward position of...not knowing when we would see them again. This is new territory for us. You see, even though we lived 80 miles from Rachel, and 50 miles from Andrew, we always saw them during the holidays, and on various and sundry weekends when Andrew needed a home-cooked meal, and Rachel needed to do her laundry. That won't be happening now that we are 1900 miles away.

This new phase is going to be difficult. Thanksgiving and Christmas are going to be strange without them. But, we trust that God will get us all through it, and future times together will be that much more special because we understand in an even deeper way the value and blessing of family. And, we thank the Lord now even more for our little "late" gift - Josiah - at least we have a phase or two longer with him.

I Had Her First...

Put some kids and a few toys together, and it won't be long until you hear, "It's mine! I had it first!" The argument always starts when one child decides to take the toy that another child has been playing with. Strangely, that is what I felt on Friday evening just an hour or so before I performed the ceremony that united my precious daughter, Rachel, to her fiance, Brian. The beaming mother of the bride had come into the church auditorium and grabbed my hand, then led me to the room where Rachel and her attendants had been busily getting ready for the event. When I walked through the door, there was my little girl - and all I can say is that I have never seen her more beautiful. Needless to say, the hug was long and the tears were falling.

The thought then occurred to me that I got to see her in her wedding dress before Brian did. But, that is only right, isn't it? I was the first man to hold her. I was the first man to dance around a room with her. I was the first man to wipe the tears from her eyes. I was the first man she said, "I love you" to. I had her first! But, then I remembered that ultimately, she wasn't mine. She belongs to her Creator, the One who formed her in the womb, and has every day of her life written in a book. And, on the page marked "October 15, 2010", the story of Rachel's life tells of how the one who had her first, humbly gives her to the one who will have her for the rest of her life. Brian has her now, and I will step back and be the #2 guy. I'm okay with that, because I know Who is writing the story, and He always does things perfect.

For twenty special years, she was mine. Thank you, Lord, for letting me have her first.

The Conviction of Things Not Seen

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." (Heb. 11:1)

Sitting here, looking out my office window, I can't see the mountains. But, I know they are there. The fog that has filled our little valley this morning has rendered these massive mounds of earth and rock unseeable. More amazing than that, fog is just a vapor, a mist, and yet it has the ability to hide what is huge and unmoving. How absolutely perfect as an illustration of our struggle with faith. Sometimes the fog of trials, difficulties, pain, and loss hide from our eyes that which is certainly there. It has been there, it is there, it will be there - even if we can't see it right now.

Regardless of how thick is the "fog" that covers the reality of God's presence, God's goodness, God's righteousness, and God's love in our lives, we believe with certainty (with conviction) that He is there. He has been, He is, He will be. We must not let the mist that will vanish with the glorious light and heat of grace and truth deceive you. He is there. Unchanging in nature and character. Never ceasing to be all He has promised to be for those who believe... in faith.

I Saw My Gall Bladder Today

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb... My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth."

Psalm 139:13, 15 (ESV)

I was at St. Patrick's Hospital in Missoula today to get yet another test done on my gall bladder. Some of you know that I had a pretty bad attack that landed me in the ER just before we left Kentucky. I begged my medical care provider to let me take care of it once we moved here to Montana, and so true to my word I am in that process. Of course, the medical care providers here need MORE tests than were done there, so I found myself in diagnostic wing of St. Pat's at 7:45am this morning.

My tech was named Steve (nice young guy, btw), and he explained to me that they would put an IV in my arm and inject me with some radioactive isotopes that would light up my liver, small intestine, and gall bladder, so they could take some pictures of how things were working. To make a long story short, everything finally lit up and there in full color on a Dell monitor was my gall bladder. This might be a shock to some of you, but I hadn't ever seen it before. Neither had Steve (at least not mine).

It struck me as I was looking at it, that even though I had never seen my gall bladder - God had. In fact, He made it, and knows it perfectly. He doesn't need radioactive isotopes and million dollar cameras and full color Dell monitors. He sees ALL of me, even the parts of me that are hidden from human eyes. Beyond even seeing that little "pocket" that is hidden under my liver, God sees something even that camera can't - my heart. No, not the muscle, the invisible center of my being that directs my life. In all honesty, I'm glad He can see it, and not me. Because, if I could, what I see might be pretty discouraging. There is way too much Scott (and all that goes with that) in there, and not enough Jesus.

Thankfully, God's grace is greater than my weakness and failure. Thankfully, God's love continues to draw me forward and change me into the person He wants me to be. Thankfully, when God looks at my heart...He sees His name there, and He keeps hold of it.

I saw my gall bladder today. God sees my heart everyday. I hope I pass that test.

Thankful for God's Steadfastness

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

For I, the Lord, do not change; therefore you, o children of Jacob, are not consumed. (Mal. 3:6)

I guess it is a little to early to expect it, but I was hoping by now we would have some kind of "routine" going in our lives. I'm thinking that with us being here in Frenchtown less than three weeks that might be a bit premature. I have always thought that I was a kind of easy going, "go with the flow" kind of guy, but I am starting to see otherwise. I like my routines, and I don't like it when things are constantly in flux. I get grouchy. Just ask my family. That is why I am so thankful that even when my life has no real consistancy, God remains faithful and steadfast. Everyday He is still there providing what I need, when I need it, regardless of what is happening and when it is happening. The unplanned and unexpected twists and turns of my day don't derail His mercy and grace. Today, I am reminded that my security does not lie in my routine, but in stability of God's unchanging nature.

Big Changes, New Faces, Same Journey

If you look at the date of my last post, and then the date of this one, you might be wondering where I've been. Yeah, I've been wondering that myself.

It has been over a year since I last posted, and I could give you a thousand (well, maybe more like ten or twenty) reasons why I have been so silent but I won't bore you with them. Trust me when I say that what I would have written probably would not have made much sense. There was a lot going on in my heart and mind - most of it better left there and at the feet of Jesus. Thanks go out to my precious family for deep and constant patience, and to all my friends for their faithful prayers and continued fellowship through my, at times, crazy life. You don't know how much I appreciate you.

As many of you may know, I am now the Sr. Pastor of Frenchtown Community Church in Frenchtown, Montana. We left Kentucky on the first of September, and arrived here - just fifteen miles west of Missoula - on September 5th. The journey that led us here would take too long to recap, but it became evident to us during the last year that our ministry in Kentucky was not bearing the fruit that we had hoped. That is not to say our time there was unfruitful. We made many dear friends, and saw the Lord work through us and around us for His glory. We will have lots of wonderful memories of special people who blessed us in special ways, and we hope that somehow, God was able to bless them through us in the short two years we were there. There will always be a place in our hearts for Deep Creek Baptist Church, and saints who make it up.

Frenchtown Community Church seems very familiar to us in lots of ways. First, it is an non-denominational evangelical church, which is what our first two churches were. Second, we are back in the northwest, where we spent almost ten years prior to moving to Louisville to attend seminary. Third, the people here are so much like the folks we ministered with while living in Alaska and Oregon, that we just feel much more "at home" than we have in a while. We have found a place that - at least from what we have seen so far - appears to "fit." I am hoping that this is where God can plant us for the foreseeable future and we can begin to invest in what He is doing in the lives of this congregation and in this community.

We are excited about the potential ministry experiences and opportunities we will have here. There seems to be a hunger for a deeper knowledge of God's word within the congregation, and a desire to reach out to the people of this area with the gospel of Christ. Those things are evident by the number of Bible studies that are being organized and attended, and the ideas that are already being suggested for outreach to the community. With patience, lots of prayer and steadfast faith in God's ability to work in and through us, I think we will see some awesome things accomplished for the Kingdom.

Let me close this with a benediction that provides all the hope we need.

"Now unto Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations - forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21 (ESV)